The Shrug

Posted on 1:06 AM by Miss Euphoria Jade Oyatz | 1 comments



You have no idea how much I love the movements,
The ones your shoulders make.
The way they go up and sorta roll around in their sockets,
The way your shoulder blades contract.
All this hard work from your body, just so you can SHRUG!
How sexy, how can I ever live without this one movement?!?
#epicfail!
How can you even for one sec think that I would live for that?
How in the gods name could you possibly think that?
Yea, no girl likes nothing more than to pour her soul out to you
Only to receive the all time famous SHRUG.
Being nonchalant is apparently the in thing now.
Speaking has become overrated so the SHRUG has stepped in!
It’s the movement taking over!
Forget about new gadgets or new acronyms.
Or, wait for it....
The almighty BB!
Yea, cus girls all over the world are screaming and drooling as we speak
for dudes who do the SHRUG!
The one movement that says it all.

"I love you"
SHRUG (erm...okay, what am I suppose to do with that?)
"Do you think we're moving too fast?"
SHRUG (I don't know, were we moving? Are we meant to be moving anywhere? Do I even care?)
"I don't think I can see you any more"
SHRUG (you were seeing me? Is that what we were doing? ermm...sure ok)

Since when has you giving a shit enough to give and opinion become uncool,
cus I honestly think I missed that memo!
You wear the SHRUG like guards,
Hoping that everything she says will bounce off the minute you move them shoulders.
Your indifference to life itself is applaudable!
I mean good god, how do you do it, just how?

But I will give you this one thing,
Your idiocy is inspirational to me.
It really is,
That an emotional void as yourself can get by.
I mean don't get me wrong,
I can see how it would work with the ladies
At first they'd be intrigued, and then curious,
But after then they're on mission mode.
On a mission to break the SHRUG, a mission to be the first person to get actual words out of you.
The first person to make you give a shit.
But half way through, failure meets them, or frustration or better yet boredom.
You make epic mysteries look solvable!

But I got to compliment you on this,
You certainly do wear it well,
And when looking at it from the outside,
It actually does look kinda sexy.

Give yourself a pat on the back
And maybe a congratulatory SHRUG, if such exists.
Because like it or not, you are guarded, you are the untouchable!
You might as well be immortal; cats with 9 lives ain't got nothing on you.
But don't forget, when people can't touch you, they can't see you
So, does the SHRUG make you invincible? Maybe.
Does it make you invisible?
 Certainly.

Shout Out To The Lovers

Posted on 5:30 PM by Miss Euphoria Jade Oyatz | 3 comments

Now this isn't my usual type of blog, I'm not pounding you guys with uncontrollably undiluted emotions..... I really just want to use this space and time to give a shout out to all those who are in love, whether it is just new and exciting or old and stronger, either way its something definitely worth mentioning. Just being around people who are in love for the first time is just contagious.... you sit with them and you get the butterflies as well, you notice how the smile reaches their eyes and how adults reduce to kids right before your eyes and try to control a fit of giggles. I would know because I've been there, and every time I meet someone new, it always feels that way. The difference between when you hear from them and when you don't is quite stark... its like one minute your relaxed and calm and the next minute your completely losing it and almost hyperventilating.


The whole process for me still baffles me, I mean no matter how many times you experience it, when it comes round you still can't predict how it will turn out, its like all logic is gone. Things that you would have out right thought stupid and irrational just seem like the one thing that feels right. I mean out of love and on a good day I'd like to think I'm a completely sensible and logical person, but in love, in love the lines that define me gradually fade and my colours no longer have boundaries, they all just sip out and mix together.Its annoying but you can't help smiling, its sometimes painful but you can't help feeling good. Isn't it crazy the way love changes everything? Like 3D glasses everything just looks a whole lot cooler, that one person just grows right in front of you. That annoying odd crooked smile becomes the only thing that you can define as a killer smile. The missing tooth at the bottom you claim gives the smile character.....the droopy eyes are the most capturing things you've ever seen! And what would you do with out that limp on every second step! Or the smell of his breath, one you have now grown accustomed to. Everything about that person now all of a sudden has a reason to be liked.


The desire and lust that comes after the love is a different story all together! I mean if you wanted them before, after the love, want is no longer adequate enough to define what you feel. Its a physical attraction so strong that its almost not even physical anymore.....I mean it just can't be! The sheer passion is sometimes too uncontrollable for just the one body to handle....you feel the need to evacuate your body and just watch it from the outside. The need to be in the other person or to have the other inside of you feels like flame little flames licking your skin....teasing and hurtful all at the same time. If you could open yourself up and swallow the other you would. Just thinking about it.....it really does go past any materialistic thing, its not about looks or stature or styles....the way that other person is becomes YOUR 'turn on', it becomes your swagger.You soon find yourself saying it out loud! when people ask what does it for you you find yourself describing him/her. At that stage you know your screwed.


I am not going into anymore details, this isn't a lecture of any type and has nothing to do with my opinions, its just a shout out to all those who have found their definitions of love and are fearlessly and shamelessly embracing it....shout out cuz y'all are the REAL brave ones....I salute you all!

Nothing to read......

Posted on 5:24 PM by Miss Euphoria Jade Oyatz | 2 comments

I am easy to read
My head too soft and easy to penetrate
My thoughts show no depths
Need to dig myself further into the ground for steadiness.
Attempts to read me have made scholars laugh.
Too easy, they say
There’s nothing to her, nothing to read.
It’s all there.
Not need to look any deeper.
She bares it all on the outside.
Like an item desperate to be bought
Desperate to be wanted
There is no space for mystery.
All is out on display.
Nothing to entice the knowledge thirsters.
But if only they knew,
If only they knew how preposterous these smiles are,
How empty my laughter is.
How vacant my interest is.
If only the noticed the frequent blank stares,
Or how my smiles never quite meet my eyes,
Or how I flinch when brushed by accident.
How can they miss how I savour the spot on my body where contact has been made.
Or how when I think no one is looking, I wipe the tear threatening to fall.
You call yourself scholars and yet you never notice how my arms are constantly wrapped around my torso,
Trying to keep myself from falling apart
Trying to do another persons job
How about my eyes?
You notice them?
You notice the lines that form around them like vines?
And you can’t miss the constant glaze in my eyes.
Or the tremor in my voice,
Or how my posture caves in the minute I’m separated from the crowd.
You don’t know the stories that form at night,
Or the maps that tears leave carved into my face,
Or the way the darkness welcomes me with wide arms despite my weak whimpers,
Or how loneliness strokes me to sleep at night.
And when that doesn’t put me to sleep, depression steps in.
Pounds me to sleep till numbness becomes a merciful gift
They don’t know how sorrow ruthlessly drags me out of bed every morning,
While failure sits and watches my humiliation with a smile.
Is that big enough a mystery for you?
A problem big enough to keep you up at night?
An understanding so unfamiliar that you lust for it day and night?
Consider yourselves enticed.
Consider yourselves baffled.
Consider yourselves dumbstruck.
I am the one specie that requires dissecting and close observations before theories and drawn.
An attempt to read my will be welcomed, but incorrectness is guaranteed.

NERVES (I’m missing you)….

Posted on 7:22 PM by Miss Euphoria Jade Oyatz | 0 comments



The two sit down.
She has something to say.
She contemplates.
He can only imagine.
Like little kids they act,
Each pre-occupied.
But what is wrong?
Both wonder, why do I feel this way?
Why hide?
I know him.
I know her.
It has been a while,
Shall they both presume?
Is everything is fine?
No!


she...






How shall I hurt and still want more?
If I voice my thoughts
He will not know he is wrong……………
Is it worth it after all?
Have I not boasted of my independence already…………….?


He... 
What is she thinking?
I can’t even look at her.
I’m too ashamed
Where does she get the energy?
And to think that I shall have to hurt her again…….
I can not bring myself to do it, not again……..
If I keep it away I hurt her the more
Does she really need to know?


She...


Stop fiddling!
You are not a kid
Perhaps I was too hard on him………
No, he deserved it!
Did he?
Then why are you here?
Why let him know
It won’t change anything
I know it won’t change
But at least he’ll know…….

Yes!
No more lies.


He...






Some one has to break the ice
Come on, you’re the guy
I can’t do it
It’s her; I can’t do it, not again….
If you don’t tell her you will do it again
She can’t even look at me.
I wonder do I ever cross her mind……….?

She...
He probably doesn’t even think about me
Isn’t he still the same person…?
Can’t even bring myself to look at him.
Why won’t he say anything?
I got to say it now!



“So, how’s life?” he finally says.
“Fine, never better” she says
(Never better? I never cross her mind? How can it be better, your not with me!)
“And you?” she says.
“Never stopped……….”
(Never stopped what, come on don’t do this to me!)
“Never stopped living, you know me!”
(Of course it was living; don’t get your hopes high. It’s the same guy. There’s no way I’m telling him now)
“So you wanted to see me?” he says.
“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that…….”
(tell him what……, come on!)
“Just wanted to tell you that you left some of your books at my place” she says.
(Perfect lie, he’s going to see right through that lie, but there’s no way I’m talking)
“And you, what did you want to tell me?” she says.
(Can’t tell her now, I don’t cross her mind, there’s no use)
“I wanted to tell you that you left a document with me” he says
“Really?” she says
“Yes” he says
“Is that it?” she asks
“Yes” he says
“And you, is that it?” he asks
“Yes of course” she says
(Why bother, it wouldn’t have changed anything)
(She doesn’t even care)
“Well, I think I’ll be leaving now” she says
“So, nice seeing you again” he says
“You to, bye now” she says








So that’s how it ends
Nerves failed them both
Pride on one side
Fear on the other
And all they wanted to say was
I’m missing you………

FEMI (there is no us?)....part two

Posted on 6:16 PM by Miss Euphoria Jade Oyatz | 1 comments



Do my ears fail me?
Was it not just now that we shared each other?
Was it not then we played the “lovers game”?
Surely we shared something
Didn’t we?
It’s all too clear to be forgotten
Every look, every touch, every kiss
Can one’s mind change in such a short time?
There is no us?
What?
Why does he repeat it?
I am not daft, these words are like daggers inside,
I bleed
Why does he repeat?
I bleed!
Wait my understanding fails me
There is no us?
How does one change over so little time?
Numb with shock,
Maybe
Engulfed in rage,
Certainly!
Shall I let it out?
Shall I let him know?
Self denial?
How dare he accuse me of his behaviour!
I give a bit, and he thinks I give my all
I call on him once, and now I am a heavy burden
What we had was barren?
The excitement was fruitless?
The longings were unproductive?
The kisses were lifeless?
Passion is the only thing that is able to ignite what we did,
It’s strange,
Your words flow.
There is no stammer in your voice
Could it be true?
You tell me you bare
And I deemed it fair
Your words float towards me,
Get a tight grip
And slowly suffocate me.
I choke on my confusion.
I need comforting
No, not from you!
Your formalities are like a brick wall
I kick,
But no gain, just pain
That’s it! I runaway
I am cold
There is no us?........

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