Jade Time

I had always had dreams... i was expectant so it was expected... for a while you had been a reoccurring dream... and with each hard thought i pushed you into my dreams during the day... you see you were/are the person....and for a while you were my person... the dreams of 'how it was supposed to be' eventually turned into nightmares.... looking at the dream from an outsiders point of you it was hard to pick out the mare.... it was a perfectly beautiful dream of the end of a long wait.... it was a deserving dream.... we had waited so long... we had made it through....and now we met.... but it was just a mocking sneer, seeing as all my other dreams had disappeared at the stating fact that we were no longer together.... but this dream however stayed behind.... and would on occasional nights come and rip one 'Stitch' from my recovering heart... but enough of the gloom.... i wanna take you into the dream.... 

You would hold me, you should hold me... memories of the two of us muddled together in a corner of somewhere... i sat on your lap, knees up to my chest....and your arms going fully around me... it almost looks like you were trying to keep our lil bubble intact... i could smell you... all of you. The scent, relaxing, calming but honestly you were calming enough. We sat in our world and whispered secrets about the perfectness of our lil bubble/world.... the outside world all sat in their favourable positions starring.... but your eyes never left mine..... The world in full swing of vibrant colours.... like a kaleidoscope....but we were in black and white and our bubble in grey.... we were simple.... the bubble kept complications away and we lived it... it was time to leave behind everything that alters back, get our focus forward and our love back on track- i need you so much closer.... words that would resound in my head...
At that moment, i come on with a frantic struggle trying to get more of me in the inside of you... I NEED YOU SO MUCH CLOSER! Louder in my head... jabs and swings at my sanity. But i still needed you so much closer... our simple bubble was becoming thinner.... this dream was coming to an end and you would vanish and i would gain my colour... but the words were still on loud echoes in my head.... i still need you so much closer.... but they were futile efforts... i could feel our scent being mixed with the scent of the coloureds but i kept on struggling... grabbing as much of you as i could... you were oblivious to my wondering hands grabbing.... you were oblivious to your own disappearance, like you didn't know what it meant.... like you didn't know this was a dream and WE would be gone in a matter of seconds.... your expression remained unchanged.... your stare still never left mine but my vision had become blurry as liquid eased down my cheeks.... you were mute to my hustle and bustle within our tiny bubble..... still you starred on like i had never moved... like we were still playing the secrets game... at this stage i was pretty sure i was screaming.... your arms were still around my frame... but that was it... i could no longer feel the pressure of your hold and i was slipping but you weren't aware.... and then.... you vanished! i was sitting upright....no colour.... no scent... the only thing i brought back with me were the tears... that's all i ever managed to bring back and yet night after night i would still struggle hoping that one day i could bring you back with me.... despite the vanishing lines of your existence..... felt like your hold was getting weaker with each passing night... the dream itself was fading.... the thought of this should have brought relief but tears gushed out angrier.... my night of mares were finally coming to an end... but i was mourning the original dream and the expectations it brought with it.... cause they were finally coming to an end too.... SIGH... lay back down... this was routine... this was the second phase of my night... the dreamless night.... my mind would still race unconsciously but it was never able to create an images.... just the blank darkness... i started slipping AGAIN, but not before i put my finger to my face and tasted my own tears.... my desperate efforts to clutch onto something real through it all..... I NEED YOU SO MUCH CLOSER.... but now barely audible through the silent drops of my tears...