Sleeping Boy....
He would jerk and stir in his sleep and I would lie next to him and watch.
Sleep looked so beautiful on him,
He wore it like a fantasy I was dying to be part of.
Stay close enough to taste his breath; it was full but never filling.
It tasted of sweet warmth in the bitter cold and had a hint of calmness in a storm.
I was addicted to his breath....I wanted his tongue to paint it all over the inside of my mouth.
But still he would jerk and stir in his sleep, my heart moved with such deep concern; it would break to watch him...
My fingers, always just the length of an eyelash from his face, were hesitant in laying the touch. Hand would stay suspended, savoring the heat coming from his skin.....
Can’t… fear would always stop me and once again my heart so heavy with concern would shrivel.
What chased him and stole his peace I wanted to know.
I wanted to be the solution,
His solution,
His peace finder and keeper.
To have my kisses as guards, so I could kiss his nightmares away.
I wanted all these things on the inside of my arms,
So I could pick him up and rock him back to safety and back into peace,
My peace.
But I couldn't,
I wouldn't.....
Fear had me, and it had me good...
I'd watch him stir and jerk and hold my next breathe until he stopped,
Fingers always just an eyelash away from laying the touch.
Maybe one day I'd touch this sleeping boy and find out if I could ever be his peace giver or kissing guard....
Maybe.
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