The sCReAm that NeVer cAmE...
I heard the thud..... he was there... he had a yellow t-shirt on... and with the way I was causing the room to quiver with shakes coming off my body, it's a wonder that i did not run.... he looked angry but more confused than anything else... he too was puzzled that i did not scream or run... i just stood there with the look of utmost interest...shakes and all..." why are you here?" i asked.... his reply came out in a furious growl.... " i'm here to take it forcefully".....with a calm that shocked me and momentarily stopped the shakes...but only momentarily.... i asked " take what?".... shock hit him then, it took over his face and his mouth opened but the brain could not translate... he composed himself and even angrier than the first time, he replied "LOVE!".... never had i in my life heard such a beautiful word sound so ugly...so hateful.... whatever my faced mirrored gave him pleasure 'cause the most cynical smirk came across his face... his oddly beautiful face...despite the cracked lines caused by the anger... he was tall and dark skinned but not so dark... the right type of dark....it was hard to see 'cause it was dark...he had water all over his face... hmmm.... must be raining outside....i was using the lighting from the thunder to view his face.....which was only occasionally.... he was not scrawny at all, but not overly built...he looked athletic...and thinking about it now if i had decided to run he would have caught me effortlessly.... but back to reality...to this nightmare, for now.... "love?" i asked?.... "you want to take love forcefully from me?" ..... he smiled again...he was thoroughly enjoying the confusion in my tone... he saw it as weakness, which i can imagine made him feel in control of the hostility... "yes, love" is what he answered, less angry this time.... he sounded rather pleased.... i couldn't hide it... i was thoroughly perplexed.... i had been prepared to hear my life was what he wanted, or my possessions...just from looking at my room any thief up to no good could see that i was good for the money.... but it dawned on me that he wasn't that sort of thief...in fact, looking at him a bit closer, i made some observations of my own.... his clothes and looks were not like that of someone in want...but his soul and heart...well, that was a completely different story...one i would probably not hear...ever.... i had been thinking so much, that i had not realised that he had moved... he was now right in front of me... still smirking....but he stopped there and made no more advances....just starred HARD at me..... still smiling.... i figured he was waiting for me to scream or run...but i still couldn't, not because i was choked with fear but because honestly... i didn't want to... curiosity still had me, and if i was a cat today was my D-day... i was still trying to take in this monster... i was back in the present and i could smell him.... again, SHOCK...he didn't smell like a monster... he smelt like want... embarrassingly, i realised he smelt like my WANT.... and at this stage all i could do was smell...smell till i realised that i was no longer standing.... i was on my bed....oh, maybe i had woken up.... nightmare over.... but wait, i'm still inhaling this WANT.....back to the present... something or someone is tugging at my garments... now i feel scream and fear rising.... the scream now in my mouth, all i need to do is open it... but it hits me...this monster could have been anywhere, he could have gone anywhere for "LOVE" ...anywhere, but he was here instead.....he had chosen me, he had watched me.... deemed me fit enough to posess love...and that's when it happened..... i left this room and, traveled back to the colourless months of dread.... months where i had been left for the same reason this monster was here....LOVE. i had been accused of being unable to give "LOVE"..... been left... and now, back to the present this monster deemed me fit and was going to take it forcefully from me.... but what? I didn't have it...did i? No no no, thats why i had been left.... i didn't have it.... then the fear started vibrating off me again... what would he do when he found out that i didn't have it... he would not be as merciful as HIM and just leave me... no... he wanted it....it was then i started my steady panic... thrashing around in own linen trying get away from him.... he would take LIFE if he couldn't get LOVE, so i finally struggled for my LIFE....I was expecting to be met with a hard blow to the head or something monstrous, but he just held me pinned down and starred at me thrashing.... captivated.... like i was a prey entertaining the carnivore right before the devouring... i could feel liquid on me coming from him, i couldn't tell if it was the rain off him or my own sweat... i kept thrashing....but still not screaming... then he did the most frightening thing.... he lay on top of me... he was heavy but not suffocating heavy....he lay on top of me and i couldn't move...he just lay there still...his body was warm despite the dampness of his clothes form the rain.... and the smell hit me again....WANT... i stopped thrashing and laid still...completely still... we were still and silent....all i could do was inhale..... the rain had started outside again... heavier.... his heart beat did not match mine...i could feel it through my clothes... the beats were good and steady....hmmm.... he must have a healthy heart....maybe good...no.....i couldn't think that far.... but i could think that. for once i was seen as someone with "LOVE" worth taking.... who was i to deny him...the only person who'd ever wanted......and again curiosity had me .... what if i did have this love...what if I actually had it....this whole time...the period of blindness!...the one I had qualified as a life fit for someone like me who had nothing to offer..... and i had it this whole time! Well i WANTED to find out.... i had to find out....even if i my life was at risk.... maybe i didn't want the life if i truly had nothing to offer.... back to the present... we still lay still... with fear i moved a little and he's body became dead weight...willing me to remain still again.... but i couldn't... i had to find out... i managed to get my hand free and touched his arm...I left my hand there for what seemed like an eternity... he stirred a little then lifted himself, hovered above...... and looked at me....still the scream never came.....
2 comments:
Deep, lost in ur words and still trying t help u scream! babes u shld start writing MORE!!!!!!
very deep but interesting read!
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