....Never There
Today I died 7 times and you didn't know.... today I was put 6 feet under dirt and you didn't know. How could you know, I was left in a box for a while and they said they would leave a gap in time. A gap for whoever loved me to come and claim me, but I waited patiently as you do when you are put in your death box, legs straight and hands meekly crossed over my chest......but nothing....you never came.... I heard the people outside the fridge make jokes about reasons why no one came, they hurt.....but not at first, as first I thought, let them laugh, you would soon come and then I would rise and have the last laugh. But instead I had the first tear. And though already in my death box, it hurt a lot. I died today 7 times and you didn't know, how could you? you were never there. They put me under dirt in hopes than I would eventually turn into dirt....but I couldn't, you see I had unfinished business..... WE had unfinished business, but it doesn't work the same way as ghosts, I don't get to come up in transparent form and haunt you...... because technically I am not dead, just waiting apparently....for you..... so I've waited and nothing.... waited some more and still nothing.... suddenly I was the one being haunted, I was haunted for my patience, trust and hope in you...... and then I was mocked because even in death (well almost dead) I still believed. Days passed and the rage started to flourish and it was murderous. Hate soon came in to replace the rage. It was calm and deadly, it was solid and had turned the soft part in my chest concrete...... and so I found out after of couple of days that I had died. I had been completely consumed by hate...... you killed me, and now thoughts of whether this had been your plan all along played flirtatiously in my mind and I succumbed to them instantly...... I lusted for any reason to draw blood..... I closed my eyes and waited for the lifted feeling that you get, the one that was meant to come before I ever got into the death box....... when it eventually came I refused to walk into the light.....I had unfinished business and I was prepared to make that understood.........I died 7 times today and you didn't know, how could you, you weren't there. I'm coming after you and you have just unofficially signed off your sanity, but you don't know, how can you, you have never been there.......
