It wasn't you/ You weren't there
You got to keep on walking; you just got to keep on going. Everything in my body wanted to turn around, just to turn around and somehow make him my Mr Right. But I had to keep walking, it’s not him, you’ve given him enough time to rise to the position but he never did, he could have but he never did. So, now you got to keep walking, you got to keep on going because it’s not him. No matter how much you want that cheeky smile to mean something it never will, it never did, and it will never hold promises of change or promises of a future, it will just always be a cheeky smile that sometimes makes you smile back, but not today. So keep walking………
Killing me couldn’t explain it. Unlike normal it was four words and not three, started with ‘I’ and ended with ‘You’ but didn’t mean the same thing, or give me that feeling of controlling gravity or my insides smiling, no it didn't.
It sucked the breath out of me and solidified tears behind my eyes causing a severe ache. ‘ I Don’t Want You’, even without tears my vision became blurred and panic washed over me, little vibrations rolled of my skin and before I knew it the ground seemed to be shaking, seemed to be, it was really me.
I was blank for the first few seconds when I heard it, and then for a few more minutes when I realised that it came for you. The air around me became thick with dread and I somehow could not take it into my lungs. That must have been what started the dizziness. You don’t want me, your returning me? What’s wrong with me, can I fix it? The finality in your eyes was frightening and as I looked into them I realised that you weren’t there. So, I guess I should have taken relief in the fact it wasn’t really you that said it, but I couldn’t, if you weren’t in there then where were you? Either way I’d lost you, so it was no longer a case of you not wanting me, it was more like me not having you anymore.
Knowing that alone was enough to cause serious harm to myself. Walking away wasn’t really hard, it was more like an action that had to be done, there was no other reason to stand there, and I’d lost you. And although I knew that the person standing there looked and sounded like you, it wasn’t enough to keep me there. The battle had been lost, you were lost and so was I.
1 comments:
Keep writing tis the only power uve got, its the solace u av, its the comfort u av! We writers knw the power of our words....Lovely yet gripping!
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