Little Girl
Little girl’s dream filled with play and laughter, little girl’s reality filled with unwanted touches while trying slip into unconsciousness, while she tries to forget everything. Touches from coarsen palms...hands dead and old, dried with hard toil. Hands that have no business touching the softness of this little girl. Presenting smells that a little girl has no business inhaling. Groans and pants that have no place in a little girl’s ear.
Little girl’s dream filled with play and laughter, little girl’s reality filled unwanted touches. Sleep has been robbed with fear and quivering in hot temperatures. Watching shadows under her door, waiting for the now familiar shuffling of feet, the smell of activities of day. Little girl no longer sleeps or dreams but much rather prefers to stay in reality. She has the heart of a brave one, or is she just a coward? Some may say a scared little girl, but I think she is a sad little girl, because it is not only she that awaits these unwelcomed touches, but the throbbing that has now formed in-between her skinny thighs. This unknown liquid that presents itself when the toucher is present is new to her. I don’t think this little girl brave at all; neither do I think her scared. Watch as she arches her back to aid the toucher. This dance that takes place on top of her skinny frame she knows a little too well. Yes the aftermath on this little girl is saddening. Watching her body fold, trying to get every part of her within her bony arms, as she lets shame rock her back to sleep. When the throbbing and liquid disappears, the scales fall from her eyes and disgust stream down her cheeks.
The smell of fingers rest on the swells on her chest. When the dance is over swells begin to throb, but not like the exciting ones in between her thighs. These throbs are like pain.
What is that feeling she gets when the dance gets faster and she feels everything else racing past? That feeling that makes her want to go faster, the feeling that makes her muscles tense and eyes go funny. She thinks it is like an electric shock, but not one that hurts. She can not explain it, but she knows it makes the throbbing go away, because after the 'shock' she no longer likes the toucher. She cringes away from fingers; the odd damp smell nauseates her. After the 'shock' hate is warmth.
What is that feeling she gets when the dance gets faster and she feels everything else racing past? That feeling that makes her want to go faster, the feeling that makes her muscles tense and eyes go funny. She thinks it is like an electric shock, but not one that hurts. She can not explain it, but she knows it makes the throbbing go away, because after the 'shock' she no longer likes the toucher. She cringes away from fingers; the odd damp smell nauseates her. After the 'shock' hate is warmth.
Little girl’s dream filled with play and laughter, little girl’s reality filled with unwanted touches. But can touches be deemed unwanted if little eager fingers creep under night dresses and follow the damp smell? Can touches be deemed unwanted if little limbs mount on bodies twice their size? Little girl that has kept secrets without threats, little girl that has discovered the ‘shock’, the solution to her throbbing. Can they be deemed unwanted if skinny arms lock around the neck to steady themselves? This is a little girl that is not robbed of sleep but willing swaps it for reality. Can she be called ‘little’?
8 comments:
Ur Depth is amazing.....it felt real!
thanks Tej....xxx
Jeez!
A very deep issue...hardly discussed...discussed in hush-hush tones when it is...and it's killing society...little girls who are not so little anymore..courtesy Uncles, neighbours...FATHERS...little girls who are forced to grow up do so hating the idea of sex...Can't give in to love..Sad Sad situation...Maddening even..Lemme stop here, i'm writing a whole new post already..This was Passionate, VIVID..Great post, Jade...
I will ignore the subject of this post, I am sure others who will do uber justice to it will def find their way here. I shall instead flirt with this style of writing.
Honestly,I dont know under what genre to list it, in one breathe it looks like poetry, in another it looks like a commentary....I like the sheer difference in style, it brings the needed diversity to blogging.
Ok, enough of my scholarly dissection, this is a good post, worthy of publish in mainstream media. Good work Jade;)
Thank you all for taking out the time to read, means alot to me...
wow...i like your choice of topic...gritty and taboo. The prosetry (mix of prose and poetry) effectively carried across the emotion and stirred both pity and rage for the plight of the "little girl". Kudos, great job.
I enjoyed this. Like a number of others mentioned, it's an interesting mix of poetry and prose, which is not necessarily new per say, but always a pleasure to read. I mean the greats in literature (the Toni Morrisons, the Isabel Allendes, the Gabriel G. Marquezs) always flirted between the two. It keeps young writers like us wanting more, no? So I like your overall writing style.
What drew you to write about rape? I find it one of the most difficult things to read and write on (I've never written about it)...the subject matter, even from the outside looking in, is hard at the very least to properly capture in words.
I like, Ms. Jade! And I hope you write more. Can't wait to read more of your work!
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